Out of oil

Our Winter Warmth Fund is in the hole, we’ve helped more than we’ve donations for, and I’ve had to cut it off.  So not only are our clients cut off by their fuel companies, I’ve had to cut off access to help.  There are no dollars right now.

And how do you do that?  How do you tell someone there is no help, that they’ve got to find another way?

How can I do this when it haunts me so?

My own story

February 1996, it was -17C outside, it was 2 am, and I woke up cold.

I listened for the furnace, and it started and would stop.  I got up and went downstairs and checked the thermostat and pushed it way up.  The furnace started and stopped.  It was a brand new furnace, the landlord had just put it in.

I was out of oil.

I went back upstairs, but more clothes on, put extra blankets on my daughter as she slept.  As I did the same for my son, he mumbled “I’m cold” in his sleep.  They were both tightly curled up, trying to be warm.

There are no words to express how low at point this was for me as a parent, I couldn’t keep my children warm.

As a brand new single parent on EI, there was never enough money, and the big layout of a tank of oil, was too much.  So I just had prayed it would last, that something would happen.  Loaves and fishes: they multiplied right?  Miracles do happen right?

I made tea, and grabbed the phone book and called the Esso 24 hour hotline.  It would be $60 for the emergency visit.  I laughed away my “forgetful” nature as just a busy mom, who had forgotten to order oil.  Oh and yes, $200 delivery the next day would be fine.

I had $5 in the bank.

I think the statute of limitations on “fraud” are well past.  It took me a few months, but I did get the bills paid, along with the $25 for the bounced cheques, both of them, and the bank took their $25 for each cheque too.  $100 worth of fees for being poor if you look at that way, for about $220 worth of oil.

Now, when we deal with this particular oil distributor, I feel a small smile coming on, because I know, and they don’t.

The Esso staff person came out, and naturally I knew him.  He also knew my situation, and he knew, I know he knew.  And he knew that I knew, but in that knowing, he wouldn’t say.  He understood.  He got the furnace running again.  An hour later, the kids had stretched back out on their beds, warm, safe, trusting.

For years, and I mean years, if I was close to awake and I’d hear the furnace start in my sleep, I’d be wide awake listening to it, to make sure it didn’t stop.  Post traumatic stress reactions to the sounds of a furnace, who would have thought?

So for our clients that rely on cash delivery, “disconnection” is irrelevant.  If you don’t have the money, you don’t get the product, be it furnace oil, or wood or propane.

If you can help, please help.

I’ve been that person, and in 1996 there was no United Way, there was no Winter Warmth program, there were only dark cold and hungry nights.  Today life is better, today there is light and warmth, and food.

Help create warmth, help create light, help create hope.  Help!